Alice In Wonderland Chapter 12
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We reach the final Chapter of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - but don't worry - there are more adventures to come "Through The Looking Glass". Justice is not exactly done in this Wonderland trial - in fact Alice is infuriated by the lack of it. She is growing again in stature and in confidence, and is provoked to shout her famous line: "You're nothing but a pack of cards!" The lyrical epilogue is in a different vein to the rest of Alice but it brings the book to a suitably reamy conclusion.
Read by Natasha. Duration 17.23.
Proofread by Jana Elizabeth.
CHAPTER XII. Aliceâs Evidence
âHere!â cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.
âOh, I beg your pardon!â she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.
âThe trial cannot proceed,â said the King in a very grave voice, âuntil all the jurymen are back in their proper placesâall,â he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; ânot that it signifies much,â she said to herself; âI should think it would be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the other.â
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.
âWhat do you know about this business?â the King said to Alice.
âNothing,â said Alice.
âNothing whatever?â persisted the King.
âNothing whatever,â said Alice.
âThatâs very important,â the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: âUnimportant, your Majesty means, of course,â he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.
âUnimportant, of course, I meant,â the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone,
âimportantâunimportantâunimportantâimportantââ as if he were trying which word sounded best.
Some of the jury wrote it down âimportant,â and some âunimportant.â Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; âbut it doesnât matter a bit,â she thought to herself.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out âSilence!â and read out from his book, âRule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.â
Everybody looked at Alice.
âIâm not a mile high,â said Alice.
âYou are,â said the King.
âNearly two miles high,â added the Queen.
âWell, I shanât go, at any rate,â said Alice: âbesides, thatâs not a regular rule: you invented it just now.â
âItâs the oldest rule in the book,â said the King.
âThen it ought to be Number One,â said Alice.
The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. âConsider your verdict,â he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.
âThereâs more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,â said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; âthis paper has just been picked up.â
âWhatâs in it?â said the Queen.
âI havenât opened it yet,â said the White Rabbit, âbut it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner toâto somebody.â
âIt must have been that,â said the King, âunless it was written to nobody, which isnât usual, you know.â
âWho is it directed to?â said one of the jurymen.
âIt isnât directed at all,â said the White Rabbit; âin fact, thereâs nothing written on the outside.â He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added âIt isnât a letter, after all: itâs a set of verses.â
âAre they in the prisonerâs handwriting?â asked another of the jurymen.
âNo, theyâre not,â said the White Rabbit, âand thatâs the queerest thing about it.â (The jury all looked puzzled.)
âHe must have imitated somebody elseâs hand,â said the King. (The jury all brightened up again.)
âPlease your Majesty,â said the Knave, âI didnât write it, and they canât prove I did: thereâs no name signed at the end.â
âIf you didnât sign it,â said the King, âthat only makes the matter worse. You must have meant some mischief, or else youâd have signed your name like an honest man.â
There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing the King had said that day.
âThat proves his guilt,â said the Queen.
âIt proves nothing of the sort!â said Alice. âWhy, you donât even know what theyâre about!â
âRead them,â said the King.
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. âWhere shall I begin, please your Majesty?â he asked.
âBegin at the beginning,â the King said gravely, âand go on till you come to the end: then stop.â
These were the verses the White Rabbit read:â
âThey told me you had been to her,
And mentioned me to him:
She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim.
He sent them word I had not gone
(We know it to be true):
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you?
I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.
If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.
My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.
Donât let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.â
âThatâs the most important piece of evidence weâve heard yet,â said the King, rubbing his hands; âso now let the juryââ
âIf any one of them can explain it,â said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasnât a bit afraid of interrupting him,) âIâll give him sixpence. I donât believe thereâs an atom of meaning in it.â
The jury all wrote down on their slates, âShe doesnât believe thereâs an atom of meaning in it,â but none of them attempted to explain the paper.
âIf thereâs no meaning in it,â said the King, âthat saves a world of trouble, you know, as we neednât try to find any. And yet I donât know,â he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; âI seem to see some meaning in them, after all. ââsaid I could not swimââ you canât swim, can you?â he added, turning to the Knave.
The Knave shook his head sadly. âDo I look like it?â he said. (Which he certainly did not, being made entirely of cardboard.)
âAll right, so far,â said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself: ââWe know it to be trueââ thatâs the jury, of courseââI gave her one, they gave him twoââ why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you knowââ
âBut, it goes on âthey all returned from him to you,ââ said Alice.
âWhy, there they are!â said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. âNothing can be clearer than that. Then againââbefore she had this fitââ you never had fits, my dear, I think?â he said to the Queen.
âNever!â said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)
âThen the words donât fit you,â said the King, looking round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.
âItâs a pun!â the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, âLet the jury consider their verdict,â the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.
âNo, no!â said the Queen. âSentence firstâverdict afterwards.â
âStuff and nonsense!â said Alice loudly. âThe idea of having the sentence first!â
âHold your tongue!â said the Queen, turning purple.
âI wonât!â said Alice.
âOff with her head!â the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.
âWho cares for you?â said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) âYouâre nothing but a pack of cards!â
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.
âWake up, Alice dear!â said her sister; âWhy, what a long sleep youâve had!â
âOh, Iâve had such a curious dream!â said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, âIt was a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; itâs getting late.â So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:â
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hersâshe could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that would always get into her eyesâand still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures of her little sisterâs dream.
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried byâthe frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring poolâshe could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to executionâonce more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchessâs knee, while plates and dishes crashed around itâonce more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizardâs slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.
So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull realityâthe grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reedsâthe rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queenâs shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boyâand the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yardâwhile the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtleâs heavy sobs.
Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.âHere!â cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.
âOh, I beg your pardon!â she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.
âThe trial cannot proceed,â said the King in a very grave voice, âuntil all the jurymen are back in their proper placesâall,â he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; ânot that it signifies much,â she said to herself; âI should think it would be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the other.â
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.
âWhat do you know about this business?â the King said to Alice.
âNothing,â said Alice.
âNothing whatever?â persisted the King.
âNothing whatever,â said Alice.
âThatâs very important,â the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: âUnimportant, your Majesty means, of course,â he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.
âUnimportant, of course, I meant,â the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone,
âimportantâunimportantâunimportantâimportantââ as if he were trying which word sounded best.
Some of the jury wrote it down âimportant,â and some âunimportant.â Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; âbut it doesnât matter a bit,â she thought to herself.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out âSilence!â and read out from his book, âRule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.â
Everybody looked at Alice.
âIâm not a mile high,â said Alice.
âYou are,â said the King.
âNearly two miles high,â added the Queen.
âWell, I shanât go, at any rate,â said Alice: âbesides, thatâs not a regular rule: you invented it just now.â
âItâs the oldest rule in the book,â said the King.
âThen it ought to be Number One,â said Alice.
The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. âConsider your verdict,â he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.
âThereâs more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,â said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; âthis paper has just been picked up.â
âWhatâs in it?â said the Queen.
âI havenât opened it yet,â said the White Rabbit, âbut it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner toâto somebody.â
âIt must have been that,â said the King, âunless it was written to nobody, which isnât usual, you know.â
âWho is it directed to?â said one of the jurymen.
âIt isnât directed at all,â said the White Rabbit; âin fact, thereâs nothing written on the outside.â He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added âIt isnât a letter, after all: itâs a set of verses.â
âAre they in the prisonerâs handwriting?â asked another of the jurymen.
âNo, theyâre not,â said the White Rabbit, âand thatâs the queerest thing about it.â (The jury all looked puzzled.)
âHe must have imitated somebody elseâs hand,â said the King. (The jury all brightened up again.)
âPlease your Majesty,â said the Knave, âI didnât write it, and they canât prove I did: thereâs no name signed at the end.â
âIf you didnât sign it,â said the King, âthat only makes the matter worse. You must have meant some mischief, or else youâd have signed your name like an honest man.â
There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing the King had said that day.
âThat proves his guilt,â said the Queen.
âIt proves nothing of the sort!â said Alice. âWhy, you donât even know what theyâre about!â
âRead them,â said the King.
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. âWhere shall I begin, please your Majesty?â he asked.
âBegin at the beginning,â the King said gravely, âand go on till you come to the end: then stop.â
These were the verses the White Rabbit read:â
âThey told me you had been to her,
And mentioned me to him:
She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim.
He sent them word I had not gone
(We know it to be true):
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you?
I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.
If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.
My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.
Donât let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.â
âThatâs the most important piece of evidence weâve heard yet,â said the King, rubbing his hands; âso now let the juryââ
âIf any one of them can explain it,â said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasnât a bit afraid of interrupting him,) âIâll give him sixpence. I donât believe thereâs an atom of meaning in it.â
The jury all wrote down on their slates, âShe doesnât believe thereâs an atom of meaning in it,â but none of them attempted to explain the paper.
âIf thereâs no meaning in it,â said the King, âthat saves a world of trouble, you know, as we neednât try to find any. And yet I donât know,â he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; âI seem to see some meaning in them, after all. ââsaid I could not swimââ you canât swim, can you?â he added, turning to the Knave.
The Knave shook his head sadly. âDo I look like it?â he said. (Which he certainly did not, being made entirely of cardboard.)
âAll right, so far,â said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself: ââWe know it to be trueââ thatâs the jury, of courseââI gave her one, they gave him twoââ why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you knowââ
âBut, it goes on âthey all returned from him to you,ââ said Alice.
âWhy, there they are!â said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. âNothing can be clearer than that. Then againââbefore she had this fitââ you never had fits, my dear, I think?â he said to the Queen.
âNever!â said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)
âThen the words donât fit you,â said the King, looking round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.
âItâs a pun!â the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, âLet the jury consider their verdict,â the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.
âNo, no!â said the Queen. âSentence firstâverdict afterwards.â
âStuff and nonsense!â said Alice loudly. âThe idea of having the sentence first!â
âHold your tongue!â said the Queen, turning purple.
âI wonât!â said Alice.
âOff with her head!â the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.
âWho cares for you?â said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) âYouâre nothing but a pack of cards!â
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.
âWake up, Alice dear!â said her sister; âWhy, what a long sleep youâve had!â
âOh, Iâve had such a curious dream!â said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, âIt was a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; itâs getting late.â So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:â
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hersâshe could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that would always get into her eyesâand still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures of her little sisterâs dream.
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried byâthe frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring poolâshe could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to executionâonce more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchessâs knee, while plates and dishes crashed around itâonce more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizardâs slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.
So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull realityâthe grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reedsâthe rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queenâs shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boyâand the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yardâwhile the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtleâs heavy sobs.
Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.
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